Alright...

there are a few topics i want to hit on during this blog... here goes.

1. Isabella from Finding Faults in Fatty is gone. Honestly, that was one of the only blogs i read, and i'm sad to see her go, but i also hope she is getting the help she needs. good for her :-)

2. I promised myself since my last blog that I was not going to restrict at all during finals because i needed to focus. it was nice not intentionally worrying about it for a while. I actually pigged out.

FOR EXAMPLE...

Actually, I need to tell a little backround story to tell this story...

My parents arent the healthiest people in the world. my mother is rather large for her short stature, and my dad is really bent out of shape because he finally hit the 200 pound mark. anyways, all the women in my family have problems with diabetes, most of them weight related. So, my mother's doctor made her go on a low carb diet. my father just followed along on the diet.

Okay, so.... There is no food in the house. There is literally just lettuce, and I'm not one for salads. They went out last night to a christmas party, so i was home alone all night. see, that's the problem. fatal mistake, i ordered pizza hut.

I ate a full medium pizza and like 6 breadsticks all by myself. i was rather proud that i could fit that amount of food into my body, but now i'm just angry that i did it.

So, since my finals have ended, my parents have really been paying attention to what i eat. i haven't been restricting for a little while, so it didn't look suspicious at all. like, my dad started yelling at me if i ate too much, and my mother told me she was going to put me on a diet.

i haven't gained any weight since i stopped resticting... so, i'm just rather confused at what she is getting at. i mean, before i started this blog, i was completely anorexic, and when i had to stop and get healthy again, i started this blog to try and get back into the swing of the whole ana thing. and just hearing my mother say that i was getting too big really hurt.

that was what triggered me in the first place. it was 10th grade and we were looking through pictures of the spring formal dance, and she said that i looked really pudgy. so i lost 30 lbs the quickest way i knew how. i'm nowhere close to where i was before!

so, needless to say, my parents want me to inadvertantly become anorexic again....

and I just want to please them...

wow, this blog is starting to sound crazy....

let's end this...

Anabelle