My fears seem to get the best of me....in the worst moments

I went to Charlie's last night. We watched movies with his roommate and my best friend. I was so incredibly frustrated because he didn't hold my hand, or put his arm around me or anything. No physical contact whatsoever during the movie. I just expected him to do....something.

We then moved to the kitched because him and his roommate decided to make mac and cheese and listen to music. We finally started talking afterwards... took him long enough. We finally were alone at like 1am. We went to his room and I taught him how to...dance.

I actually ripped my pants. My attempts to be sexy just got completely ruined.

I'm so incredibly afraid to fall in love again. Remember the movie How To Deal, with Mandy Moore in it? I'm kind of like her character. I believe that the easiest way to get your heart broken is to actually put it in the position to get broken. Oh, I know for a fact that I'm going to fall so hard for Charlie, it's absurd. I'm already falling for him, and it scares me half to death.

He makes me forget about all my problems when I'm with him. He makes me forget about all my stress and all my restrictions. It's a lovely feeling. It's also rather convenient that we both pretty much have the same exact working schedule.

When I got home this morning, he actually apologized for not attempting to do anything during the movie. I get another date with him next week. We're going to my favorite Thai restaurant....

Ohmygod.... We're going to dinner! What the hell? I'm forgetting all about ABC! See, I told you...

Abc will resume again tomorrow. I've already ruined it for today.

Mental notes:
1. Learn how to drink. No more straight vodka on an empty stomach anymore.

2. Do English papers. I have to do 3 papers this weekend. Plus a Calculus assignment. Yay college.

3. Try settling the dispute with my ex-fiance. We're fighting yet again. I don't want to be friends with him anymore, but I just want both of us to forgive each other. We stopped talking on a bad note...

4. I didn't have a 4th note, but, hell, let's make one up now. Okay, this one is more of a goal. For my psychology class, we were given an assignment to go to our significant other and kiss them. We were supposed to focus with all our might on how we felt during this kiss.... Goal: get Charles to kiss me...


Anyways, time to go.
Anabelle.

ps: question? I was cleaning my room and I found this old dried up rose that I got from this one girl. Is it lame that I kept it?