Okay, so I have concluded that completely just binging for two weeks, then going back to no calories a day is a stupid idea. So, I'm going to just start weening myself off of food. Cut back to one meal a day today, which is good. Took the diet pills. They were working until about...oh, about 9:45. Not bad. They kind of make me feel sick though. I don't think they were meant to be taken completely on an empty stomach, but oh well. They were expensive buggers, so I'm definitely going to use them up.
it's nice to feel hungry again. I feel like I'm starting to gain control of my life again. and at the same time i feel like i'm spinning out of control. I'm going through a best friend divorce and it made me realize that I was only sober because she was my friend. We stopped talking yesterday, and guess what? I broke out the whiskey. That was a stupid idea. She was the one that was ultimately stopping me from attaining my goal weight though, so hopefully I can finally get closer to where I want to be. She used to be bulimic, so we shared everything we did. Eating stuff. But she got sick, and had to stop, and since she has recovered, she wouldn't tolerate my eating habits. So, I put them on the back burner. Now that she's gone, I can do whatever I want.
The downside: I have no one to talk ana-mia to! I feel kind of alone. So I'm going to try to reach out and get a new ana buddy.
feel free to add me on msn: ana.belle.mia@live.com
this blog is long enough. ha, I may have to start a new post. Very talkative today.
Love,
Anabelle
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