I'm never drinking again.
I fucked up. Cheated on my fiance.
bad weekend.
~ana~
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
ouchie!
So, I'm gauging my ears, and it's going pretty well. Still pretty small, but whatever. The lobes are 8 gauge, and I'm starting to gauge my cartiledge. I put 14's in them. bad idea. They didn't feel too bad yesterday, but today they kill. Took the 14's out. I'm Neosporin-ing them as we speak.
Ugh, all the laxatives I used to take kind of messed up my...erm....system. Now like right when i eat something, i immediately have to go to the bathroom. not vomit, but, uh, other end. ha. i ate about 600 calories today, but they don't stay in my system for like more than a couple hours.
yesterday sucked, but things got better...
hope all is well!
Anabelle :-)
Ugh, all the laxatives I used to take kind of messed up my...erm....system. Now like right when i eat something, i immediately have to go to the bathroom. not vomit, but, uh, other end. ha. i ate about 600 calories today, but they don't stay in my system for like more than a couple hours.
yesterday sucked, but things got better...
hope all is well!
Anabelle :-)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
hi
I won't be posting anything tonight. I'm super depressed and I just want to go to bed early tonight. I want to get this day over with as soon as possible.
eating wise, I am doing very well. no food at all today. If i stay depressed like this, I'll never be able to eat again. ugh
sorry, I'm normally not like this. I normally just get over it, but I did something i should not have done today, and I'm just waiting for the consequences. checking my myspace obsessively... panic attacks today. anxiety. waiting. i. hate. this.
Talk to you tomorrow,
Anabelle :-(
eating wise, I am doing very well. no food at all today. If i stay depressed like this, I'll never be able to eat again. ugh
sorry, I'm normally not like this. I normally just get over it, but I did something i should not have done today, and I'm just waiting for the consequences. checking my myspace obsessively... panic attacks today. anxiety. waiting. i. hate. this.
Talk to you tomorrow,
Anabelle :-(
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ... (sound of his text messages)
Is it bad that I'm really annoyed with my fiance?
He's just really getting on my nerves lately.
He'll say "what's wrong?"
I'll be like "Nothing, I promise you."
He'll say "I just feel like there is something wrong."
I think... There WILL be something wrong if you don't just drop it.
Gosh, I just feel like such an asshole, but I dunno. The thought of marriage is kind of freaking me out right now.
Oh, monogamy.
I should call him or something. Assure him that I'm still alive.
He's just really getting on my nerves lately.
He'll say "what's wrong?"
I'll be like "Nothing, I promise you."
He'll say "I just feel like there is something wrong."
I think... There WILL be something wrong if you don't just drop it.
Gosh, I just feel like such an asshole, but I dunno. The thought of marriage is kind of freaking me out right now.
Oh, monogamy.
I should call him or something. Assure him that I'm still alive.
I now remember why I hate my job...
My boss is the biggest asshole in the world.
Oh well.
Today was okay. I didn't really eat anything. At most I ate about 200 calories. I did have an energy drink, though. I'm sure that was about 300 calories, but whatever. (Secretly, I never count calories from drinks.)
Not failing any classes yet. Got a B on my Chemistry test, and I have an A in Calculus (surprisingly!).
I was going to plan what I was going to talk about in this blog, but that definitely didn't happen. I will have a post with actual substance one of these days.
My weight hasn't budged. Kind of angers me a little, but I haven't been exercising at all. I work tomorrow, but I have Thursday, Friday, and Saturday off, so I will be working out quite vigorously. I need some sort of proof that my semi-fasting is working.
Weight today: 118-119
Goal by weekend: 115.
Am I capable of that?
Hell yes.
I'm going to read some blogs now. Ttyl,
Anabelle
Oh well.
Today was okay. I didn't really eat anything. At most I ate about 200 calories. I did have an energy drink, though. I'm sure that was about 300 calories, but whatever. (Secretly, I never count calories from drinks.)
Not failing any classes yet. Got a B on my Chemistry test, and I have an A in Calculus (surprisingly!).
I was going to plan what I was going to talk about in this blog, but that definitely didn't happen. I will have a post with actual substance one of these days.
My weight hasn't budged. Kind of angers me a little, but I haven't been exercising at all. I work tomorrow, but I have Thursday, Friday, and Saturday off, so I will be working out quite vigorously. I need some sort of proof that my semi-fasting is working.
Weight today: 118-119
Goal by weekend: 115.
Am I capable of that?
Hell yes.
I'm going to read some blogs now. Ttyl,
Anabelle
Monday, September 21, 2009
well
today started out promising. I ended up with about 380 calories up until about 9:30 this evening. All those calories were from beverages though, so it was pretty great. I bought some protein shakes. They were disgusting, but they kept me from getting hungry all day.
I'm lactose intolerant, so i can't really eat dairy too much. I thought I would be able to drink the shakes without a problem, but I guess not. Oh, i went to work.... and ended up in the bathroom... and I don't wanna talk about what happened in said bathroom.
Anyways, I got home from work. and BAM. I saw Doritos. And normally I don't like Doritos, but there was the cheesy dip stuff too. Oh, orgasm! Anyways, I ruined the day. Ha. I'm sure I'm still under 800 calories, so today wasn't a complete tragedy, but I only wanted 400 calories or less. I'm going to try again tomorrow. I have to find a strategy to taking the diet pills at the right time so I won't binge. I always have trouble with the first two or three days when I'm restricting calories. Once I get past day three, it's smooth sailing. So, I just need the diet pills until I can make it past day three.
Let's hope that theory works. Anyways. I better go. I never sleep anymore, so I took a sleeping pill. Should be kicking in soon.
I'm always looking for new ana buddies! ana.belle.mia@live.com <~MSN.... link to Twitter in sidebar.
Goodnight and good luck to all,
Anabelle :-)
I'm lactose intolerant, so i can't really eat dairy too much. I thought I would be able to drink the shakes without a problem, but I guess not. Oh, i went to work.... and ended up in the bathroom... and I don't wanna talk about what happened in said bathroom.
Anyways, I got home from work. and BAM. I saw Doritos. And normally I don't like Doritos, but there was the cheesy dip stuff too. Oh, orgasm! Anyways, I ruined the day. Ha. I'm sure I'm still under 800 calories, so today wasn't a complete tragedy, but I only wanted 400 calories or less. I'm going to try again tomorrow. I have to find a strategy to taking the diet pills at the right time so I won't binge. I always have trouble with the first two or three days when I'm restricting calories. Once I get past day three, it's smooth sailing. So, I just need the diet pills until I can make it past day three.
Let's hope that theory works. Anyways. I better go. I never sleep anymore, so I took a sleeping pill. Should be kicking in soon.
I'm always looking for new ana buddies! ana.belle.mia@live.com <~MSN.... link to Twitter in sidebar.
Goodnight and good luck to all,
Anabelle :-)
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